Wintergrass was hard for me this year. The person who introduced me to it two years ago is someone I’m no longer in touch with – we had a bad ending to the friendship after a miscommunication about money, of all things. It still makes me very sad. She was with me the first year at Wintergrass, when I was pregnant. She didn’t make it last year, and the falling out I think happened in early March, so this was my first one without her.
I was a mix of emotions going into it. Stress to try to get enough done to have a full display, sadness because going there reminded me of her, and a very low-level of excitement. I do love bluegrass, and time with my family. My husband and baby went with me again this year. She’s a bit more to chase after than she was last year (ah, what a difference a year makes!) but she still loves music, can clap in time, and even went to toddler-grass!
Once I got to Wintergrass I started to feel better – we were again stationed next to Clark Mandolins, and I always enjoy seeing Austin and Cynthia. Austin’s mandolins are amazing, and they really, really make want to learn to play something. In fact, all of Wintergrass does. We’ve decided to put the baby into fiddle lessons when she’s big enough. I still wish I’d been put in music lessons when I was a small child, but I wasn’t, and that part of my brain that would have been used to learn music is now occupied by so many other things… maybe when I retire I will re-visit.
On day two of the show my husband went to get coffee. He came back empty-handed no more than two minutes later. I asked him what happened. He told me that the person that I wanted to see least was there, with her mom, in line for coffee. My heart jumped. I knew there was a chance she’d be there, but it never crossed my mind that my husband would run into her. He didn’t talk to her, just saw the two of them, and walked away.
I never saw her there. I was pretty sure she’d steer clear of my booth. Truthfully, I don’t know what I’d have done if I had. Is she still mad? Does she think I’m a terrible person? That the downfall of our friendship was all my fault? I don’t know. I wish we could have talked through it. I wish we could have come through stronger. But we couldn’t, and we didn’t. In my life – my marriage, my friendship, and my business – I respect and value honesty above all else. Communication is such an integral part of any relationship, when that breaks down it’s bound to fail sooner or later. I’m still sad, a year later, that this one did.
But I’m not mad, and I certainly would have talked to her if she’d stopped by my booth. And I’d answer if she decided to send an email, or call.