This weekend we went to my stepfather’s wedding – I was a bridesmaid for the first time in my life. I was the maid of honor even. The funny thing is that I actually did not know I was the “original bridesmaid” until the rehearsal. She had asked me and a few other women to be involved in the wedding, but somehow it just didn’t register until Friday that I was really a part of it. And I was honored to be.
My daughter was the flower girl. She’s four, and fortunately she got to walk down the aisle with me. She threw those flowers way up in the air with everything she could muster. It was hilarious.
I made the guest book – the sweet little wood grain and heart “Nice” pattern seemed totally appropriate for a Northwest outdoor wedding on an island.
I also made some of the favors. We made 117 of our Original Mason Jar Lanterns, also in the “Nice” pattern. Actually, we made the straps and then sent those along. Bride and Groom enlisted some help to assemble them – they don’t take long to put together, and it’s certainly easier to buy the jars locally than have them shipped. They looked so sweet on the tables – some filled with candles, others with flowers.
I know I made them, but I was so excited to take ours home. So was my daughter, as she was swinging around her lit lantern in the dark.
The other favors were little birds that my stepfather made. Each guest had a little birdy waiting on their napkin. He’s currently working on a commission piece with many more birds – the guys waiting in the little cups are ready to be cast into plaster molds then turned into glass birds.
There’s so much emotion at a wedding, and I think I was so focused on just getting the favors and the guest book done that I wasn’t able to lose myself in the emotion of it. But as I stood up there, with my husband and baby boy in the first row (going “mama mama mama”) all I could think was that I’d marry him again in a heartbeat.
That’s the thing that I realized once about relationships, and every once in a while it hits me again – you marry that person that you don’t ever want to be without. On our way home my husband and I were talking about the vows that my stepdad and his new wife exchanged, and he pointed out that these were vows of people who had been through some struggles in their relationship. And he’s right. At 23 and 27 our vows were very different. Our vows were silly, sweet, and made by people who hadn’t yet been through some of the rougher times of a relationship.
I suggested that we go do a vow renewal on our 10 year anniversary (in Mexico, where we were married, and yes it’s at least partially an excuse to go back). He asked me why, since we seem to be doing just fine on our vows. I said it’s not the big things – I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship – but the daily things, that make the difference. Those are the things we need to remind each other of, and ourselves.
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I'll meet you there.”
After this weekend I’m feeling lots of love. For the happy couple (don’t they look happy? So super cute!), for my husband and family, and for my new family. My grafted family tree keeps growing.